


Starburst

by xStephyG



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Light Bondage, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 06:57:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4295016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xStephyG/pseuds/xStephyG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Evie and Cullen confront the repercussions of  “He Made Her Glow...”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starburst

Cullen sat at his desk, quill scratching over parchment, fervently. He was behind on paperwork and needed to catch up. He needed to distract himself. Two days after the night in the Undercroft, Evie had left Skyhold. That was nearly three weeks ago now.

He was getting the usual reports – she was fine – but not the added notes from her that he so held so dear. They were always so simple and sweet; a heart scrawled on some spare parchment, an “I love you” on the back of a report, a pressed daisy. He had kept them all, tucked away with his Ferelden Toy Soldier. Now all he received were the scouting reports on her movements and progress.

He didn't have a right to those sweet-nothings anymore. After what had happened, he shouldn't even be here but her last communication to him was clear; a note delivered by a runner before she left:

“ _Do not tell anyone what happened. I need to go for a while. When I get back we will talk. -Evie”_

She wanted to talk to him. He would do her the courtesy of waiting for her return and would take whatever punishment she saw fit. Even if that meant never seeing her again. The very thought made his heart ache.

The door across from him opened with a slow creak. “WHAT!?” He was in no mood for the inane prattling of some runner. When the intruder didn't answer, he looked up. Evie stood in the open door, hands clasped in front of her; she looked as beautiful as always. “I didn't know you-” Her raised hand cut him off.

“I asked that you not be told I was returning.” Her voice was even, hollow almost; as if she had rehearsed. “We need to talk about... what happened.”

Nodding, Cullen motioned for her to enter but she stayed in her place. Looking at her eyes, he could see her surveying the room; a room she had spent many days and nights in. She probably knew his office better than he did and yet, she was afraid of it. No, afraid of him; of being alone with him.

“We could go for a walk, if you prefer.” He offered. Anything, he would do anything for her. When she didn't budge, he tried again. “Evie, I-”

“I barely remember what happened.” Her hands slid up her arms as she spoke, hugging herself. “I remember asking you – _begging_ you. I remember your hands, your mouth,” she tried to stifle a sob but failed. “Your growls. It's all just flashes.”

“I'm sorry.” He whispered. He didn't know what else to say. There was no excuse for his actions.

“Stop saying you're sorry and tell me what happened!” She shouted as the tears fell. She looked over her shoulder to the courtyard, then stepped the rest of the way into his office, closing the door behind her. “I can't move forward until I know what happened.”

Steeling himself, Cullen began to explain everything. Every second of that night. She sobbed, she shook, she yelled and he took it all. He deserved worse. He deserved to he thrown into the gibbet that she had taken down and tossed into the Waking Sea.

By the time it was all out she had sunk to the floor, knees to her chest, hands folded in her lap. She stared straight ahead with dead eyes; ragged breaths the only noise coming from her, until she finally spoke, “Where do we go from here? How can I trust you again?” She lifted pleading eyes to him.

“I don't know.” His throat felt tight.

“You... took everything from me. You took all the control. All of it. I can't...” She trailed off. Every time they had been together it had been as equals. They were anything but equals that night.

“Do you want me to go?” He would do anything she asked, anything.

“I want- I want to trust you again. I just don't know how that can happen.” Cullen didn't know either. What could possibly regain her trust him? He had lost control. What was stopping it from happening again?

A knock on the door had Evie up in an instant. Before Cullen could protest she left, promising to talk to him the next day.

Cullen couldn't sleep that night. He couldn't sleep most nights but this was different; it wasn't the nightmares keeping him up, it was her words.

“ _You took all the control.”_

He could give her control. It only made sense. He took the control from her that night, he could give it back to her. He wouldn't regain her trust overnight but it was a start, wasn't it? Decided, he climbed out of bed to get everything ready.

* * *

 

“You want me to do what?” Evie stared at Cullen, wide-eyed. He stood beside her bed holding a pair of silk scarves with a nervous but hopeful expression on his face.

“I want,” Maker's breath, how did he explain this to her? “I want you to tie me up and do whatever you please.”

Her eyes flicked from his hand, to the bed and back to his face. “I'm not... I don't think I can do that. I'm not ready to be with you again... like that.” They had only just talked about what happened and he wanted her to jump back into bed with him?

“No, no. That's not what I meant.” He sighed. “You said it yourself, I took all the control. I want to give it back to you. It's not about sex, Evie. Not if you don't want it to be; it's about trust. I want you to trust me and I want to show that I trust you. I thought if I gave you back control in some way you would trust me again... It was a stupid idea. Just forget I said anything.” He turned from her, defeated and ready to retreat back to his office.

“You would let a mage tie you up?” She whispered. Her magic wasn't something they spoke of often. There was no need to talk about it and it had never come up in the bedroom. She had never lost herself and made an amateur mistake with her powers when they were intimate. She was not some fledgling apprentice.

He moved to her, placing a hesitant hand on her cheek and tilting her face up to look in his eyes. “No, I would let _you_ tie me up. You are more than a mage, love. You are everything to me. I would do anything for you. Anything, I promise. Just tell me what to do.”

She was still scared. She couldn't deny that but looking into his eyes now, she knew he meant what he said. Nodding, she took the scarves from him and whispered her first command, “Get undressed. Everything but your smallclothes. Then get on the bed, please.”

Evie watched as Cullen stripped himself of his armour, placing each piece studiously on the armour rack she had brought up for him some months back. Layer after layer was removed until only the man remained. Not the soldier, Templar, or Commander he was to everyone else but the man she had trusted, the man who broke that trust.

He laid himself back in the center of her lavish bed, arms spread wide, waiting. This was for her. She could go at her pace; he would wait an eternity for her to decide what was next.

The scarves were light in her hands. Looking over Cullen's well-muscled form, she was finding it hard to believe they would even hold him back if he decided he didn't want to restrained anymore. But looking at his face - in his eyes - she knew he was sincere; he would allow her anything she wished. That didn't make her any less nervous.

She crawled onto the bed beside him. Her focus solely on his hands. One task at a time; tie his hands to the bed then... what? Hit him? Tickle him? Leave him there for the day and go about her business? She was already in over her head and they hadn't even started.

With his first wrist bound she moved to the other, leaning over him; breasts brushing his face. Cullen clamped his lips shut and breathed heavily through his nose, fighting the urge to kiss them, lick them, _bite_ them. This wasn't about sex and it certainly wasn't about him. She needed to feel strong again. That wouldn't happen if he was objectifying her. But Maker, how he had missed the feel of her lush chest in his face.

“Are they too tight?” Evie's hair curtained her face as she looked down at him.

“No, they're perfect.” A teasing joke about whether she had done this before was on the tip of his tongue but the trepidation on her face stopped him from uttering it.

She knelt beside him, head cocked, eyes roaming over every inch of him. He was a sight to behold; thickly muscled thighs, absolutely perfect abs, broad chest and shoulders, strong arms that have held her so perfectly in some of her favourite memories and large hands that held her too roughly in one of her worst.

For the briefest of moments, she thought about slapping him, about leaving him for the day like she had thought before. Instead she moved her hands to his ribs and began to dance her fingers across the sensitive skin. His laughter filled the air in moments, cried pleas for her to stop as he writhed around trying to escape her assault. She continued until she could no longer hold in her own mirth; to see her strong, stoic Commander in such a state was a true joy.

As their laughter died down, Evie propped herself up beside him; watching the rise and fall of his chest as it returned to normal. She turned her eyes up to meet his and smiled; pulling his focus. She already knew what she was going to do next but she wanted it to be a surprise.

She used her magic to chill her hand; not enough to harm him of course. Just an icy reminder of who she was and what she could do. Holding his gaze, she lifted her hand and pressed it into the middle of his chest. Evie was sure his bellow must have been heard down in the great hall. Just like the tickling, he pleaded with her to relent; writhing and rolling the best he could with his hands bound but she didn't give in. It took Cullen a moment but once he acclimatized to the sudden change in temperature he relaxed again. Only then did Evie remove her hand.

She reached up and traced the lines in his palm with a single chilled finger tip. She followed a line that led her to his wrist and continued down his arm. Any change in his golden skin became her new guide; veins led to freckles which led to scars. Her finger tip didn't stop its icy journey over until she reached the top of his smalls. Her eyes moved back up the invisible trail she had left, over his heaving chest until she was staring into his eyes, dark with unconcealed lust.

Cullen did his best to stifle any noise that threatened to escape. She was driving him to desperation. Though their bodies were still parted by the barrier of her clothes, he could feel her warmth; the memory of her skin against his burned into his mind. He grasped at nothing with his bound hands, wanting desperately to touch her; to beg her to touch him more than her fleeting caress. But this was for her, she could do as she pleased, take as much time as she wanted. If she chose to leave at that moment he would take it. He would do anything for her.

Evie returned her gaze to where her hand rested then lower to his straining length hidden under his smalls. Cullen started to stammer out an apology – he hadn't meant to become aroused, he had just missed her so much, and the way she was touching him – but she hushed him.

She wasn't going to deny that she was enjoying herself, as well. Seeing Cullen like this, so wanting and not being able to do anything was exhilarating. He had set out to give her control and she couldn't say she wasn't enjoying that control. She had thought about prolonging this; waiting until he begged but she didn't want to wait much longer. She had missed him. She wanted him.

Slowly, Evie pressed lingering, wet kisses along his jaw and down his neck; pausing at his Adam's apple and dragged her teeth and lips along it until a deep purpling, bruise formed. All the while, one magically chilled hand roamed back over his chest and stomach slowly; revelling in every jump and twitch of his muscles.

Both hand and mouth moving lower still, Evie peppered his collarbone and chest with blazing kisses as her hand smoothed slowly over his length, making Cullen gasp. She kept her touches fleeting; pulling her hand back when his hips would rise and returning when he would settle again.

“Are you going to behave?” Cullen barely caught Evie's whispered words; he was so lost in the feeling of finally, _finally_ having her hand where he had needed it. When his mind finally registered that she had spoken he nodding frantically. He would agree to anything as long as she kept going.

Placing one more wet kiss into his sternum, Evie pulled back and hooked her thumbs in the sides of his smalls, sliding them down his legs and dropping them off the end of the bed. Cullen's erection stood proudly from his body; the tip red and swollen, begging for attention.

Straddling his thigh, Evie wrapped her cooled fingers around his base; watching his muscle shake as he fought to keep himself from thrusting into her hand. Her thumb swirled over the tip, spreading the pearlescent bead that had gathered there; ripping a pained sounding hiss from him. She would have him begging before she gave them what they both needed.

Her other hand moved to the hooks on her coat, smirking as Cullen's eyes widened; watching as she revealed more and more of her ivory skin. Hook after hook fell away and Cullen watched every second with rapt attention; afraid that if he blinked she would disappear. Evie's hand disappeared from Cullen's length making him choke on a sob as she shrugged out of the garment.

Evie pulled the laces on her breast band, allowing it to slip to her waist. Leaning in, she skimmed her nipples over his chest; basking the delicious scratch of his chest hair over the sensitive buds, while she loosening the ties on her trousers.

“Evie... Love, please. I need you. Please, please, please...” Cullen's words were a strangled prayer; his eyes screwed shut, head thrashing back and forth. He was on fire, encased in ice; he couldn't breathe, couldn't think. If she didn't end this soon he was sure he was going to die.

Evie took in the sight of him fully then; sweat had gathered on his brow, his face down to his chest was a splotchy red, his mouth hung open while ragged breaths shook his body. The muscles of his arms strained helplessly against his binds and his hands were balled into tight fists, turning his knuckles white.

A pathetically pained whimper fell from Cullen when Evie left the bed. She was going to leave him now. He had told himself he deserved it, that he wouldn't beg her to stay but he would do anything to have her touching him again. By Holy Andraste, let her show mercy.

When Cullen turned his head to beg, to plead, to promise her anything and everything if only she stayed with him here he was stopped by the vision before him. Evie stood in nothing but her loosened trousers, breast band in hand. With perfect eye contact, she slipped her fingers into the top of her trousers and slowly - agonizingly slowly - smoothed them over her full hips and legs until they and her smalls fell to the floor, revealing a thatch of dewy, red curls.

Seeing her bare, so close but unable to touch was too much for him. Cullen lurched toward her but his restraints kept him firmly on the bed. Evie stood her ground. Not a day ago just the nearness of him had her flinching in fear but now, watching him thrash helplessly she felt only strength, confidence.

When he finally settled again, she climbed back onto the bed and astride his hips; keeping care as to not actually allow any part of their skin to connect. He looked every bit the untamed beast she remember from the night in the Undercroft – golden curls wild, chest rumbling with animalistic growls, a feral look in his darkened eyes – but this time was different. She was herself, she would remember this and she was in control.

“Don't move.” Evie lowered a steady hand below her and took hold of his erection once more. Cullen's mouth hung open, fervent whines sounding in his throat as he watched Evie line him up to her entrance and sink herself onto him; her only sign of pleasure was the little shudder that moved through her body.

When her bottom finally rested on him, Cullen remembered to breathe again; only then realising he had been holding his breath as she lowered herself. It felt as if this was their first time. The sheer intensity of being inside her - having her over him – she was his moon and his stars. For the first time he understood what she had meant that night.

“You make me glow...” He whispered, reverently.

Her expression softened and she brushed her finger tips over his scarred lip. He kissed them gently as she began to move, a slow whirl of her hips making tears well up in his eyes. He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve this love and devotion. He had taken everything from her and here she was giving him more.

“I love you.” She whispered, lifting off him the barest amount and sliding back down. Her movements were slow, deliberate; one hand on his chest and the other still on his lips.

“I love you.” She repeated, increasing the speed and height of her hips dance.

Cullen couldn't hold it in anymore, “I love you, Evie.” He sobbed as the tears fell freely. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” He had been adrift for so long and she had pulled him back from the brink, then he had taken her body for his own and now she was giving it to him again. He didn't deserve her. He would do anything for her.

Evie knew then that he would never again intentionally violate her. Whatever madness that had taken him that night was banished for good. The beast that had been hidden within him was tamed. She could see the veneration in his eyes. He would fall on his sword if she asked; climb to the top of the Frostbacks or swim across the Frozen Seas. He loved her with everything he had to give and she loved him the same.

She rose from him slowly, reached up to one of his hands and released the first knot holding them apart; watching as his arm fell to the bed. She moved to his other hand and repeated the action, again his arm dropped. Her own tears fell now. She would never know another love like this. She knew that.

“Hold me.” She implored.

Slowly, Cullen sat up, wrapping two strong arms around her body as she threw her arms around him; pressing their faces into the each others necks they moved as one. Their bodies were no longer their own. They belonged to one another, fully and equally.

Their ends came quickly; in unison. Their bodies glowing brighter than all the stars in the sky, burning hotter than the sun. It was as if they had never truly made love before that moment; every touch and kiss, every day and night had been an attempt to reach what they had finally achieved in that moment. They were one soul dwelling in two bodies; his heart beating in her chest, when he breathed in, her lungs filled with air. She would never again fear his touch and he would never worry for her rejection.

Afterwards, they laid on their sides; arms and legs tangled, noses pressed to the others cheek, lips brushing as they gazed into each others eyes. Without saying a word they both understood the promise they had made that night. They would do anything for one another. They belonged to each other, in every way imaginable. There was no force in all of Thedas that would separate them again. They were home.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to say a big thank you to Mahayla224 on Tumblr! She betas all my smut. She does an amazing job of fixing my errors and making everything more coherent. I couldn't release anything without her! <3


End file.
